OH NO, IT'S DWAYNE KENNEDY!

by Dwayne Kennedy

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    Hey Erbody!
    Thanks so much for stoppin’ by to purchase my new EP. ‘Preciate you. Black history month may be long gone, but since I'm black all year, I'm keepin' the special reparation price options for white folks. Of course, you all don't have to take my suggestions, but if you do, I'll leave it up to you to decide which category you fall in. You know you better than I do!
    But whatever you pay for the EP, I hope you like it! And thanks!
    SUGGESTED PRICES:
    • Black Folks: $9
    • Black Republicans: $16 because…..How Dare You?!!!
    • Asians, Latinos, & Other Brown Folks I may have missed: $9…cause we all in the same boat.
    • Indigenous people: $9
    Hey, I’d give it to you for free if I could. …but I can’t. So 9 bucks!
    • White Folks: Now this one’s tricky because I know you all are used to having lots of choices so here are yours:
    • Progressive Whites - $9 because at least you’re trying…I think.
    • Bleeding Heart Liberal Whites–$13 for those who know that all people should be judged as individuals but still get a little nervous whenever they see a group of young Black dudes coming down the street.
    • Previous Racist Statement Whites– $18
    ($15 for the EP and a $3 hypocrite tax.)
    For those who have made racist statements in the past and know that they will probably make racist statements in the future but pretend to not feel good about it in mixed company.
    • Guilty About Not Feeling Guilty Whites - $12
    Hey, at least you’re honest.
    • Donald Trump - $40,000
    I know that’s not enough for me to purchase forty acres with, but I’m pretty sure I’d be able to buy a mule…or at least a Buick.
    • Pharma Bro Martin Shkreli - $80,000
    You’re an even bigger douche than The Donald. And with 80 stacks I could probably get TWO mules…or a NICER Buick!
    • Anybody out there willing to make good on that whole 40 acres situation: $400,000 (and I’ll let you slide on the mule.)
    • Sarah Palin: FREE* (*if you and everyone in your family promise to never speak in public again)
    ... more

      $9 USD  or more

     

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released February 3, 2016

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tags: comedy Chicago

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Dwayne Kennedy Chicago, Illinois

Dwayne, a Chicago native, comedian, actor and screenwriter has emerged as of one the nation’s top comedians. Dwayne’s social commentary, social consciousness and satirical diversions demonstrate his comedic genius with a unique perspective. Heralded as ‘one of today’s’ most insightful and thought provoking comedians, Dwayne has performed his stand-up act in clubs nationwide and abroad. ... more

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